We all communicate in our own style and manner. We even communicate when we are silent in a group! verbal communication styles along with nonverbal expressions make our communication meaningful. Communication styles/patterns are broadly categorized into the following -
Passive -
In passive communication, an individual agrees to go inline with the flow of the conversation, without putting any different view.
This style works in conflict resolution but in a passive communication style, There would be nothing 'unique' about you simply because you would agree in each and everything they say and sing in a tune of unison always being too afraid or shy t6o keep your own view!
Other than some specific situations, people with the passive mode of communication are considered to be low in confidence. They speak in a very low tone and are shy and feel uncomfortable to eye-to-eye contact during a conversation.
Aggressive -
When an individual communicates with a lot of aggression. In most cases, this can be situational, but certain individuals get habituated to use an aggressive style of communication in general circumstances. This can simply create unnecessary misunderstandings and slowly people might start disliking the aggressive communicator.
Aggressive communication is not just expressed through words, but also through body language and high voice tone. People with aggressive style speak in a high tone over others and generally doesn't let other people speak. They are impatient and not good listeners.
Aggressive communicators love to control the situation and thus they don't allow anyone else to express their opinion or views. "It's my way or the highway" this phrase suits perfectly for them.
Assertive -
Assertive Communication style is considered to be the most useful and successful mode of communication.
All communication Mastery programs around the world try to inculcate this style in you.
It's interesting to know that styles can be acquired, learned obviously through continuous conscious practice.
So, how to be an assertive communicator?
To understand that, you need to understand what it means to be Assertive.
What we mean by Assertive is that the message should be Clear, Composed, Simple, and straight (Obviously without a condemning tone).
- Clear-There should be Clarity in your message. What you want to communicate'.Why you want to convey the message. The purpose and message should be very clear and easily understandable.
- Composed- That means, your expressions /emotions should be under control. The same calmness should reflect in your body language and voice tone. This is the primary component of assertive communication. The subtle Nonverbal cue is the secret to the success of the Assertive style!
- Simple - The language and words used to communicate a view, an opinion should be simple so that the other party involved can easily decode the meaning in the right perspective. It has nothing to do with ornamental language or exhibit your knowledge of vocabulary! This can rather become a communication barrier.
- Straight - As the purpose of communication is to make the other person understand. It should be straightforward without any twist of sarcasm. It shouldn't sound impolite or rude but communicate the meaning of your words.
Please Note the Tone of your voice (vocal nonverbal cues) is very important mainly when you want to demonstrate yourself as an assertive communicator. You need to choose both your words and the tone of your voice very cautiously.
The tone shouldn't be on a high pitch as a high pitch tone would show that you are agitated. It should be on a middle tone which is neither low nor high but audible enough for the other individual to understand what you are saying. Voice modulation is important. This requires lots of practice
- High tone shows aggression
- A very low tonation signifies a lack of confidence. Which would be detrimental to any communication.
Thus you should follow practicing normal tone. You shouldn't sound like you are too eager for something, or in an aggressive mood, or rude.
The secret is that the person you are communicating with shouldn't be able to judge your mental/emotional state of mind. The best way to acquire this skill is through self-communication. Look into the mirror and start speaking! Observe the change in a few days. It really works!
Whatever I have written is an outcome of my experiential learning. and definitely not a copy-paste material. Yaa, the styles are all explained the same everywhere, even somewhere there might be a few more styles included. But our primary focus should on the 'Assertive' style, as it's truly the secret to success through Communication.
